Finally Finished Finals

As much as being a mature student has given me a fresh new perspective university, some things just don't change.  The last three weeks of a university term is just as stressful and insane as it was in 2007 when I thought I'd finished my last final.  I do like to believe that I'm better equipped to handle the stress though, and part of that is a healthy dose of realism.

I've always been a bit of a keener so getting good grades was my default measure of success as a student.  As an undergrad student the first time around, without any real life experience to compare it to, finals seemed like the end of the world on the stress-o-meter.  Oh boy, how times have changed.  Don't get me wrong - trying to study for finals and complete what feels like a bazillion projects all within a short 2 to 3 week period is still stressful.  But I can't help but want to tell all my 18 year old comrades that this is what life is like ALL THE TIME.

Final exams just don't feel as important as they used to and it might be because I've finally figured out that there's way more to school than getting an A in every class.  Sometimes things don't need to be perfect, they just need to be done.  I'm learning to play to my strengths instead of killing myself trying to get marginally better at things that are going to have very little payoff.

For instance, sometimes I just suck at writing essays on final exams.  I can write a great academic paper, but if I'm not feeling the essay topic on the exam, it isn't going to be a great reflection of my abilities.  I had a moment like this during my Grammar final last week.  I just could not get into any of the given topics and my gift for spouting bullshit was failing me so I cut my losses, wrapped the thing up as quickly as I could and tried not to cringe when my prof recommended that I think about graduate studies based on the assignment he handed back to me.

I felt bad.  Not about what my mark would be, but that my prof would probably be so disappointed reading my blown final essay.  I'm not worried about the mark because what got out of the class is much more than whatever letter shows up on my transcript.  Getting stressed out about it isn't going to be helpful.  At the end of the day, I just need to pass and I'm sure I've done more than that.  At least in that class.  I might not be so optimistic about some of the others. I might feel really differently about it all next term with higher level courses and an extra class on my plate.  But we'll see.