Last spring, I was sitting on the sidewalk
patio of a pub in downtown Edmonton. It was late afternoon and I had
some time to kill before my night class. Normally I would have just camped out in the library until the start of class, but after having spent most of the day g-chatting with a
friend about being a Lady Boss, I decided that I was big girl enough to sit on
a patio by myself with a glass of wine and my laptop.
While I was there, I overheard a
conversation between two girlfriends that made me sit up and eavesdrop like a
mothertrucker. One friend, let’s call her Sara, was preparing to interview at
the other friend’s (let’s call her Jane) company. Both women looked to be in
about the middle of their careers. Jane was coaching Sara through some of the
interview questions that she was likely to get and Sara would respond to the
questions with what she thought were the best answers. What happened next had me
wanting to stand up and high five both of them. After one response in which
Sara started off by downplaying the very accomplishments that she should have
been highlighting, her friend Jane responded without hesitation, “That’s not
good enough. You’re discounting yourself before you’ve even started.”
Halle-frickin-ullah!
I continued to listen as Jane provided her
friend with brutally honest, but constructive, feedback. Towards the end of
their conversation, I turned around and introduced myself and admitted that I’d
been listening. We had a brief moment of solidarity as we chatted about how
important it was for professional women to support each other. Both of these
women were navigating being senior managers in a male dominated field and each
expressed how valuable it was to have a supportive network to lean on.
I didn’t know it at the time, but that was
the beginning of a Lean In awakening for me. I hadn’t read Sheryl Sandberg’s
book, but I had just found out that I was going to be going to California that
summer to intern at Facebook.
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| Drinking Lean In Kool-Aid from the chef herself. |
In my 3 months at Facebook, I was served a
hefty volume of the Lean In Kool-Aid. On my first day, Hilary Clinton was
speaking to Facebook staff. A couple weeks later Malala Yousafzai toured the campus and spoke about her passion for girls' education. In my first week, I heard Sheryl Sandberg speak
passionately about how far we still had to go in order to achieve full gender
equality. I would have the chance to hear her speak many times while I was at
Facebook, and even have a signed copy of her book, which I’ve only managed to
get part of the way through. I can admit that because to me the book doesn’t
matter so much. The message that resonated the most with me was that we don’t
have to do it alone. We can’t do it alone. We need each other if we’re going to break
down that barriers that still see women making $0.77 to every dollar a man
earns.
Over the summer I realized that I was one
of the lucky ones. I have a very ambitious and supportive circle of friends who
push me and each other towards our goals. They call me on my bullshit. They
encourage me to be confident. They help me make strong decisions. They were my
Lean In circle before I knew what one was.
When I was at Facebook, I met so many other
young, female interns, often from science and business programs, who were not
as lucky as me. It was an important reminder that being an ambitious young
woman is not always greeted with enthusiasm. When I came back from Facebook, I
wanted to be able to share this kind of support with others. That’s why I’ve
started a Lean In Campus Chapter at MacEwan.
I’m looking for other ambitious young women
to join me. I know that you’re out there. I know that it’s challenging to add
one more thing to a busy academic and social calendar. But I also know that now
is the time to build the relationships and support networks that will get us
through challenging times ahead. Some of us are graduating this year. Some of
us are just starting out. We can help each other. I’ll bring the Kool-Aid.
